March 22, 2009

            Greetings to each of you in the name of Christ, Risen Lord and Redeemer. I also want to say a special welcome to my two new Xanga friends as well as my new friend out in the real world. Also to those who encourage me whether online or out in the real world, you have my gratitude and affection. Lastly and most defiantly not least to God, whom I owe all in my life, you are my heart and my breath for I could do not do anything without you.

            Everyday is a transition for me. Some days I am feeling up while others I am feel-ing down. Today just happens to be one of the in between days. I am neither happy nor sad but a weird mixture of the two. However, in all things I rejoice in the Lord in all things for He will not grant me any burdens I can not bear. I also understand that my burdens are very light compared to the deep despair that so many are feeling right now.

            There are a few special requests that I would like to pass on. It is seems that there are so many needs that it will be impossible to name them all. If I leave one out please do not be offended, for I am still praying for you, but remember that you are one of many on my prayer list.

 Friend #1 is dealing with personal resolution of issues in his heart. It is hard for me to see him struggle (especially since I went through the same thing) but there are some things that we must come to terms on our own (with God’s help). READ THE BIBLE!! It helps.

Friend #2 literally had a door slammed her face. There is also a great deal of bitterness behind that door that is very hard for her to let go (there are justifiable reasons). To her I feel compelled to say that that God often closes doors to open a better one down the road. You are loved by many and appreciated for your vision!!!

Friend #3 is having marital problems. She is married to a non-Christian and is called to serve to full time in ministry. She needs comfort which I can not give as a friend so say a special prayer for her.

If you know these people keep it yourself but find ways to encourage them in their time of need. 

            As for me, it seems I get myself into trouble more often than not. Most of the time it involves three little words that have a great meaning. Each time I say them may be in a different context than the last but always with full meaning. To me these words are not only a promise but a sacred covenant to the person I give them to. They are given without expectation of return but with the hope of promise. These words have raised men (and women) up and pulled empires and nations down. These words have inspired courage in the meek and struck fear into the hearts of tyrants. Only the Word of God has more power but that power is derived from these three words. Have you figured out the three words yet? If not, here are a few more clues. While children can be made without them, they can only be “raised” with them. God gave us his Son to die on the Cross because of these three words. Still clueless? There are eight letters found in the three words. It is something you tell your family and friends. It is something you tell your neighbors and your enemies in equal measure (it’s in the Bible). These words are used when looking in a mirror (not too often though and yes, it is in the Bible too). Lastly, these three words should be the first and last words you tell God everyday (though not the only times).

            The power of these three words in my life can not be measured. Because of these three words, friendships were formed and doors were opened to me. I would not have found the Salvation Army or probably would not even be born. Jesus would not have gone to the Cross and I would be eternally lost. Most of all, I would not be me. Still clueless? I will be praying for those of you who still haven’t figured it out (and yes there will be those who will not). I love you. Such simple words. Such powerful words. Life would literally have no meaning without those words. God would not have created us if He did not intend to love us. God would not have given his only Son if he did not intend to redeem us with his love. To each of you, I love you. I love some more than I should and others less than they need. You are each a part of my life (even if I do not know you, duh, you are reading this). Just as God loved me, I love each of you in your own special way.

`                                                                                   Blessing and Joy,

                                                                                             Steve

P.S. For those who have brought it up. The rumors of me drooling are highly exaggerated (lol). Long story!!!!!! Well I have to polish a crown now.

P.P.S. Isn’t this annoying?

P.P.P.P.P.S. Are we there yet?

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Smile you are loved!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dearest Friends and Beloved Readers,

            To each of you I greet you in the name of Jesus Christ, Lord and Redeemer of us all. Some of you have asked why I haven’t written here for so long. There is no simple answer. I have written several times but the Spirit compelled me to wait until I felt the call to do so. So much in my life has changed over the past few months that I no longer knew where I fit in.  Every month it seemed that I was saying good bye to someone special, whether through death or just moving away. As each went, I lost part of myself and eventually I no longer knew who I was. I did not know where I fit in my life, or anyone else’s either including God. I’m not saying I lost sight of God but sight of where God wants me to be. I began to question each and every one of my choices up to that point and felt that I was totally hopeless. Everything both good and bad in my life led me to believe I was worth less than nothing. In doing so, I let down myself, my parents, those who support me, and most importantly God.

            However, time and faith in God heals all things. I opened my heart again and realized that I have to stop trying to be who I was and start being who God wants me to be. It is not easy. Sometimes what God is telling us is something we do not want to hear. Like Jonah in the Bible, I was running away. Before losing my job, I had my day (and the next several months) planned to the minute (well almost). God was calling me to bigger and better things but I did not want to listen. I was comfortable. I was content. I was slowly getting out of debt while forgetting the greatest debt of all, Jesus on the Cross. God knew me before I was born. God knew me before I called Him Father. God knew me in my sins. God knew me in my shame but He still loved me. How often do we repeat John 3:16 but not understand the context as it relates to us? God gave to each us Jesus Christ to pay for our debt. However, we must stop and listen to God  to receive the full benefit. (I am not saying that if you go bankrupt that God will literally bail you out but that He forgives you for all choices that led you that point and continued relationship with Him will help you resolve both your financial and spiritual deficiencies.)

            Who am I? I am not really sure anymore. Who I am I meant to be? One of God’s Children. Where am I going? One step forward, I can not say for sure anything else.  How am I doing? I still smile a lot, I cry often, I laugh more than I did, and I love a lot more.  

            As for recent events, so many things have changed in my life I do not know where to begin. Michael has started coming back to church (Laquan as well). Shaina (GG) act-ually got interested in a discussion. To bad it wasn’t about church but a blessing all the same. I can honestly say I have driven Satan’s Uhaul (long story). I have come down with the worst case of “Spring Fever” since I was 12.  I was broadsided by one of Cupid’s stray (I hope) God really does have a sense of humor, great motivation though). Chris’s daughter is doing well after her surgery. I finally got to meet Craig’s sister Bonnie (Her Highness, just kidding) as well as Noah and Austin. She’s going to kill me (lol). Working on making my weekly Bible Study/ discussion a more permanent fixture (need a free Pamlico location).  Started a new “Adventure with Christ” with the boys (Adventure Corps). Still working on the Teen Partnership between New Bern / MHC. Was “broken” by two ten dollars bills (thank you). Last and most certainly not least Taylor (one of my Rays of Sunshine) is moving away and will no longer be attending the corps.

            As for my goals. Find a job working with children. Learn to tie at necktie (no smart comments please). Learn to sing (the neighbor’s dogs will appreciate it, though they howl at anything).  Lose Weight (being unemployed is fattening).  Dye my hair blonde (I said no smart comments, just kidding anyway). Learn to play an instrument       (eventually, don’t tell Charles or he’ll be at my door with an instrument and asking me to show up at four on Sunday).

            For those who have been concerned, I hope this blog/letter (I am starting to mail it for those few who are not online and have asked) has answered your questions. While writing this, I have cried (5 times), laughed (more than I can easily count), rejoiced, reminisced, and let go.  There is no easy answer but to trust in God in all things. Be blessed as each of you has blessed me. I love each of you and think  of you daily.  

                                                                                    Blessings and Joy,

                                                                                                  Steve